The Suitcase Lady


September 30, 2014, 3:31 pm

I have long subscribed to the theory that anybody who has a friend from New Jersey is a fortunate person. I have been exceptionally blessed with a number of wonderful friends from the Garden State, and I’m convinced that people from New Jersey are a breed apart. Perhaps we ordinary folks would be, too, if we came from places called Hoboken, Lower Squankum, Cheesequake, Brass Castle and “The Oranges”. How can you have a city named “The Oranges”?

Perhaps the reason for Jersey’s uniqueness lies in New York. All of New Jersey has to have a killer inferiority complex. It can’t possibly compete with the Big Apple. So the populace…..the most dense in the nation, by the way…..simply creates their own little crazy universe.

Meditate on this fact for a moment. Trenton and Princeton are in the same state. As we all know, Stephanie Plum is from Trenton and Einstein lived in Princeton.

I won’t even touch the topics of Newark, Atlantic City or Margate where some real estate czars built an elephant shaped hotel.

Tourism is the second largest industry despite the fact that the state leads the nation in car thefts and toxic waste dumps (108). On a brighter note, they also have the most diners and more race horses than Kentucky.

Tourist attractions abound. Cape May with its elegant Victorian homes is a birders’paradise. But don’t miss the world’s largest statue of a tooth, the world’s largest lightbulb, and the world’s largest Spoon Museum. For adventure, take in the annual Cockroach Derby at Rutger’s University (which is not called The University of New Jersey).

So go right out and find a friend from Jersey. Your life will never be dull again.

3 Comments for this entry

  • eve

    Mary–All they need is a mustard museum.