The Suitcase Lady

Bumper

January 5, 2016, 9:03 pm

I was driving down the road the other day behind a car whose bumper sticker read, “When do I get to vote about your marriage?”

I smiled and thought how beautifully concise those nine words were. (Full disclosure: I don’t think that what you do in your bedroom is any of my business). A bumper sticker makes our cars mobile soapboxes, and I am a user and reader of them.

Since bumpers on cars are structurally useless these days, our cause-promoting stickers give bumpers a purpose to exist. And, because these stickers are devilish to remove, the stickee is most likely serious about the cause.

Shortly after my husband and I were married, we decided to be good citizens and work for our favorite candidates. Since we are on the side of the workers, not the oligarchs, this meant the Democrats.  We had no clue how to join the Democratic Party, but a church parking lot provided the answer. Every Sunday morning a car with an amazing display of bumper stickers for Democratic candidates was parked there. We approached the car’s owner and asked him how to become card carrying members. We’ve been card holders ever since.

An additional function of bumper stickers is to make a car easy to identify. When meeting a certain friend, for example, I will say to my husband, I know she’s here already, there’s her car.” It is easy to spot a car that proclaims, “Eat Organic”, “Coexist” and “An eye for an eye makes everyone blind”.

My all time favorite bumper sticker slogan was created by Senator Barney Frank. It read, “We’re not perfect, but they’re nuts.” I think I might need that for 2016.

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