The Suitcase Lady

It’s time for dragons.  Forget everything you know about these legendary beasts…that they breathe fire, eat young maidens, smell sulfurous and are slain by gallant knights or virtuous saints (George, for instance).

Chinese New Year began yesterday, and it is the most auspicious year of the twelve year animal cycle. Welcome 4710, The Year of the Dragon.

Asian dragons are the opposite of their European counterparts. These wingless dragons cavort in the skies and are generally benevolent creatures. According to Chinese mythology, dragons metamorphose over 3,000 years from hatchling to mature dragon.

The Chinese have dragons for every occasion, but four have special significance:

• t’ien lung   The celestial dragon, protector of the heavens.
• shen-lung    The spiritual dragon, master of storms and skyborne bringer of rain. Only the emperor could use its image on his robes.
• ti-lung   The dragon of land, stream and river who spends springtime in heaven and autumn in the sea.
• fu ts’ang lung   The treasure dragon, keeper of hoards of precious jewels and metals in the deepest vaults of the earth.

I’ve recently been having my art students draw dragons. We have attempted to follow the directions of Wang Fu, a scholar who lived during the Han dynasty (206 BC – AD 220).

“The Chinese dragon’s head is that of a camel, its eyes are a demon’s, its ears are a cow’s, its horns are the branched antlers of a stag, its neck is a snake’s, its belly is a clam’s. The soles of its feet are a tiger’s, while its claws are an eagle’s and the 117 scales sheathing its long body are those of a carp. Of these scales, 81 are infused with benevolent essence (yang) and 36 with the malign essence (yin).”

The pictures below were created by my second grade students…Happy Year of the Dragon!

What’s 1,000 feet long and takes a 3 month winter nap?

The answer would be a “laker”, the gigantic vessels that are unique to the Great Lakes.

We moved to the lakeshore 16 years ago, and the view of these big iron ore, coal and cargo freighters slowly moving north and south along the shore has been part of our lives ever since.

This Fall my interest in the humongous vessels piqued. Looking out the window one day, I did a double take. A huge boat was much closer to shore than any I had previously seen. It was reminiscent of the surreal day that I looked out of our daughter’s high rise apartment window in Manhattan and found myself at eye level with the Goodyear Blimp floating by.

In a flash, I realized that my knowledge of Great Lakes shipping was virtually nil. Since information is one thing our age does in super abundance, I headed to the computer to become better acquainted with the action in my own front yard.

A bit of searching came up with a site that tracks round the clock locations of the largest commercial vessels on the Lakes. Now, every morning, I check to find out who the day’s visitors will be.

Researching further, I came across some amazing facts:

• Unlike saltwater vessels, lakers are long lived with life expectations of 40 to 50 years…..some keep working even longer. The Wilfred Sykes is 60 and still going strong.
• A laker can undergo a series of name changes in its lifetime. The American Integrity, for example, was christened as the Lewis Wilson Foy which was later changed to the Oglebay Norton before getting its current name.
• A single Great Lakes freighter can carry enough iron ore to produce the steel to build 87,000 automobiles.
• A 1,000 foot long laker can carry 70,000 tons of cargo. 3,000 semis would be required to carry the same cargo.
• Self unloaders enable only one man at the controls to unload an entire vessel.

Yesterday, my ship tracker site showed few boats. The locks at Sault Ste.Marie (the Soo) closed for the winter. I will miss the daily parade. At 16 miles per hour, the lakers are one thing in life that is not hurrying by.

If you have a moment, check out this well narrated video of how to park a 1,000 foot long vessel.

I may have to skip 2012. Pantone, the color gurus in America, once again have chosen the color of the year, and it is orange. Pantone has scores of oranges in its color pantheon; the honored hue this year is Tangerine Tango.

I find both the color orange and tangerines to be problematic. I’ve tried many times to become fond of that fruit, but, to me, they taste like oranges that have gone bad.

Being an art teacher, I don’t discriminate against any color. I do, however, think orange is at its best on pumpkins, sunsets, sunrises, fall trees and Baltimore orioles. It does not work on orange satin bridesmaid gowns, the color chosen by the bride the only time I have ever been a bridal attendant. I went directly from the reception to the Goodwill donation box.

When I bought my last car, I asked the saleslady to search for a leftover from the previous year’s models. “I hope you don’t find an orange one,” I kidded her.

I’ve been driving my orange car for three years now. In its defense, spotting my little hatchback in any parking lot is a snap.

Pantone offers this rationale for its choice of Tangerine Tango. Their spokeswoman says,”For us, the color of the year is not the hot fashion color, but an expression of a mood, an attitude, on the part of consumers…In 2011 we chose Honeysuckle Pink because there is a feeling of activity and movement about that color. Although orange is not pink, we felt the necessity to stay with that feeling that encourages us to face everyday troubles with some vigor. We know there is a big elephant in the room. We can’t ignore it.”

Are things really this bad? In my opinion, the elephant in the room just might be the walls that were painted orange.

I’ve been banned from juice boxes.

“I don’t think you should associate with juice boxes any more,” my husband said.

I took no offense as I had already come to the same conclusion. When you wipe out the upholstery in a brand new Fiat 500 rental car, any sensible person would change their behavior.

It’s not that I was unaware of the dangers of those little, flimsy boxes with holes to poke straws into. Memories of an elementary school incident many years ago were still fresh in my mind. I was at a school doing programs on the exact day that the new space-saving pyramid shaped milk boxes were introduced. At lunchtime 400 children simultaneously picked up the boxes, stuck in 400 straws and created 400 geysers of milk. Most of the kids were whooping with joy. The teachers and maintenance staff were less thrilled and brought back the sturdy milk cartons a week later.

Environmental concern was my motivation for buying my last six-pack of juice boxes. Instead of using plastic water bottles on our trip, I opted for a greener alternative.

I managed to get the straw in without incident, but then must have held the box too tightly. Zap…I created a juice fountain all over my hands, clothes, purse and the car seat. Later in the trip, I cautiously tried again. That’s when I discovered that even a tiny bit of juice in the bottom of the box still could erupt like Vesuvius.

So now I am barred from juice boxes along with Mr. Coffee and sewing machines. I’m unfazed; as Joe E. Brown says in the last line of Some Like It Hot, “Well, nobody’s perfect”.

“Stay tuned, “the announcer said, “for the Word of the Year.”

Loving linguistics, I immediately found my brain speculating on what 2011′s hot word would be. Computer jargon and names of techie gadgets flooded my thoughts along with the sinking feeling that I might not even have heard the word. I do tend to be about a century behind in some areas.

I was wrong on all counts. The most important word of 2011, according to commentator and linguist Geoff Nunberg, turned out to be “occupy”.

Since I like the word occupy, I cheered that selection. Occupy dates back to the 14th century and means “take possession of” and “to take up space and time”. During the 16th and 17th centuries it was a euphemism for “to have sexual intercourse” which caused the word to fall out of favor from polite usage.

To be clear, I do not intend to sleep in a tent near Wall Street or anywhere else for that matter. I do not even sleep in a tent when on vacation.

But since our country has turned as surreal as Oz, I do intend to fully occupy my own life and protest injustice wherever it occurs. I’m looking forward to a busy 2012.

Happy New Year!